PREFACE This treatise is not meant for everyone. It’s not meant for the very young or for the very old music-hobbyist. It’s  definitely not meant for all those Nuclear Physicists and  well-paid Lawyers who play “the blues” in well-equipped Dad Bands in immaculate pubs in Chicago and San Francisco on the weekends. No,  you well-heeled Dadbanders  and your worldview are Fucking Kryptonite to the True Spirit of Bands and contemplating your banal goals and your modest returns is enough to put any Band Dream into a coma, if not directly in The Grave.  I do not encourage Hobbyists to dabble … Continue reading THE ZEN of BANDNESS: A TREATISE

a brief break for silly (and more)

  Will isn’t,  perhaps,  a born novelist but he is very good at other things, among which being Dead Face. That is a fucking admirable Dead Face. When I get in verbal altercations IRL, I develop a twitchy grin I haven’t been able to alter much since high school. I wish I had a battle-ready Dead Face like Will’s.     ADDENDUM:  The first eight minutes or so are amazing, but @3:15 is… uh… even better   Continue reading a brief break for silly (and more)


TALES of the FATHERLIFE Monday Feb 25, 2019 20:51 Daughter (12) is in the bathroom that Daughter and I share (Wife has the fairy kingdom bathroom down the hall; Daughter and I have the highway gas station rest room bathroom with a tiny dying Xmas tree in the window over the tub), which is next door to my office. Daughter calls through wall, while sitting on the toilet, through hiccups, “Oh no! I have the hiccups!” I very quietly rise from my office chair and tip toe to my door and ease it open. “Daddy? Did you hear me…?” I … Continue reading THE OPENLY PRIVATE

4 Very Useful (albeit Lesser-Known) Online Debate Tools

Occam’s Pacifier “When confronted with a theory that threatens your sense of the world and your place in it, reject it in favor of a theory that doesn’t.” The Law of Godwin’s Law “As an online discussion with Fascists grows longer, the probability of the mention of Godwin’s Law approaches 1 (100%).” Heisenberg’s Faux-Certainty Principle  “It is impossible to both know the exact meaning of an advanced scientific principle and to want to use it in a conversation with laymen at the same time.” De Gustibus Non Disputandum Est Unless “There is no disputing about taste unless the other person … Continue reading 4 Very Useful (albeit Lesser-Known) Online Debate Tools


“I often think there should exist a special typographical sign for a smile-some sort of concave mark, a supine round bracket, which I would now like to trace in reply to your question.”- April 19, 1969 The Nabokov “Smiley Face” invention (as cited above) was a response to this question, posed to him by Alden Whitman in an interview that was published in The New York Times: “How do you rank yourself among writers (living) and of the immediate past?” Continue reading NET FIRSTS #2: VLADIMIR NABOKOV INVENTS THE SMILEY EMOTICON


  nice adj \ˈnīs\ nic·ernic·est Definition of NICE 1obsolete a : wanton, dissolute b : coy, reticent 2a : showing fastidious or finicky tastes : particular <too nice a palate to enjoy junk food> b : exacting in requirements or standards : punctilious <a nice code of honor> 3: possessing, marked by, or demanding great or excessive precision and delicacy <nice measurements> 4obsolete : trivial 5a : pleasing, agreeable <a nice time> <a nice person> b : well-executed <nice shot> c : appropriate, fitting <not a nice word for a formal occasion> 6a : socially acceptable : well-bred <from a … Continue reading NICE


  Your 20s are for Fun and your early-30s are for processing the mistakes the Fun inevitably leads to. If, by some freak accident, you should meet The One when you’re, say, 27, it only means you’re going to have to *LOSE* The One a few years later. The 20s-to-30s are not stable years. The higher the value you assign to a given attachment at that age, the more spectacular the failure of this attachment shall prove to be. Concentrate on yourself. Develop your skills. Identify and hone your interests/ inclinations. Fuck for Fun, Health, Tenderness and Companionship at Dinner/ … Continue reading INPUT FOR THE YOUNG WHO WILL GLORIOUSLY IGNORE IT