THE ZEN of BANDNESS: A TREATISE

PREFACE This treatise is not meant for everyone. It’s not meant for the very young or for the very old music-hobbyist. It’s  definitely not meant for all those Nuclear Physicists and  well-paid Lawyers who play “the blues” in well-equipped Dad Bands in immaculate pubs in Chicago and San Francisco on the weekends. No,  you well-heeled Dadbanders  and your worldview are Fucking Kryptonite to the True Spirit of Bands and contemplating your banal goals and your modest returns is enough to put any Band Dream into a coma, if not directly in The Grave.  I do not encourage Hobbyists to dabble … Continue reading THE ZEN of BANDNESS: A TREATISE

6IX KWIK KLIPS*

  1) TUNE-UP THAT THEORY The culture is awash in two primary types of Conspiracy Theory: A) that which is socially unacceptable because it challenges our cherished sense of the Norm and B) the Physically Impossible.  My analytical method involves ruling out the latter (B) from the very beginning.  Ruling out the Physically Impossible saves time. Relating to which… Class-Conscious commentator Dave Chappelle knocked me out with this humane and astute and perfectly-delivered bit: Chappelle famously had a “meltdown” (c. 2004?) and “walked away from Hollywood” for seven years. When he came back, he had grown a bit older (he … Continue reading 6IX KWIK KLIPS*

KONG of PAP [re-posted from 2009, with an offensive new preface]

PREFACE In 2009, when the hyper-American entertainer, Michael Jackson, died, I thought: sunlight has finally hit the vampire. An innocent (and great talent) in 1970, when his voice was all over the sounds coming out of my red transistor radio,  Jackson died as a human, and a musician, c. 1976, while eking out a mid-level career doing pleasure-cruise disco. The “world” (the Anglo-American sphere)  barely noticed his first quiet death as the world was distracted, at the time, either by Boston’s More Than A Feeling or The Sex Pistol’s Anarchy in the UK. In 1976 I hated almost everything on … Continue reading KONG of PAP [re-posted from 2009, with an offensive new preface]

generation i: programmed for trivial narcisso-militancy

  Edgy. Righteous. Game-changing. Silly. Let’s see if they get this one to go viral; I like the uncompromising urgency of the voice-over (I keep hearing it in Michael Palin’s voice, though…). We don’t really see very many hip, slick, targeted-at-youth video campaigns about, for example, bringing some US War Criminals to trial, strangely. No, you just don’t see hip young Instagram devotees getting into virtue-signalling meltdown over the flamboyantly genocidal Madeline Albright, do you? Obviously, gender-disparities in Nipple Display Laws are a tad more pressing… “Adwoa Aboah narrates new film about nipple censorship ‘Nipples’ is the latest in Nowness’ Define … Continue reading generation i: programmed for trivial narcisso-militancy

FLIRTS of a NATION

A seedy character with the early-’90s porn handle Rob Bliss has something to do with a seedy video that happens to be going viral at the moment (it’s well on the way to getting 25,000,000 views). The video purports to show what happens when a reasonably (or possibly) attractive (De Gustibus…) woman goes walkabout on the streets of an urban kingdom for ten hours, filmed with a hidden camera. The video’s legend claims that in ten hours she got 100+ “catcalls”, but in the two-minute clip we’re shown a few dozen incidents… in which “Black” guys are rather overwhelmingly over-represented … Continue reading FLIRTS of a NATION

VIDEOBITS [an ever-expanding/shifting cabinet of curiosities]

****VERY VERY QOOL     * ****A BRILLIANT LITTLE PILL AGAINST BOREDOM     *  ****POP SOME SITUATIONIST POPCORN AND PUT ON YOUR BRUCE LEE PYJAMAS     *  ****AND “THE MAN” SPANKS HIMSELF Few (Culture-Type) Things are More Sickening and/or Irritating than Hyper-Capitalism’s Disingenuous (winking) little Self-Critiques (with Big Budgets). Bonus points for the oh-so-knowing “yuppies with coke” rant. You mean yuppies who drive BMWs, surely…? BUY A BEEMER AND SAVE THE WORLD! Bill Hicks is screaming into his pillow in Hell…   * ****O WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN This song has been trivialized, over the decades, by Top 40 … Continue reading VIDEOBITS [an ever-expanding/shifting cabinet of curiosities]

Understanding National-Enquirer-esque Media-Memes of the 21st Century

Anyone who’s been paying attention the past half-century or so will have noticed that very large chunks of America have been every bit as Gay-unfriendly as The Media claim Russia is. And then they weren’t? It happened so quickly that it all seems a rainbow blur: America now wears the hiply-beneficent smile of A Shining Beacon of LGBT Rights. But I can still remember jarring things like the beating deaths of Matthew Shepard and Brandon Teena and the shit-storm of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and Proposition 8 and the populist, pejorative Web-adjective “Ghey!” And let’s consider the dozens (if not … Continue reading Understanding National-Enquirer-esque Media-Memes of the 21st Century

I WANT TO HOLD YOUR (Invisible) HAND (of Fame)

Read between the timelines to see the Invisible Hand of Fame at work: “The Beatles experienced huge popularity on the British record charts in early 1963, but record companies in the United States did not immediately follow up the Beatles’ successes in the United Kingdom with releases of their own, and even once they began to do so, the Beatles’ commercial success in the US continued to be hampered by other obstacles including issues with royalties[ and public derision toward the ‘Beatle haircut’ “. (Please note: before media told the Yank public what to think about it, The Beatle look was a negative; Beatlemania was by no … Continue reading I WANT TO HOLD YOUR (Invisible) HAND (of Fame)

CONSPIRACY THEORY AS NAIVE DECONSTRUCTIVE HISTORY (an excerpt)-by Floyd Rudmin

[“Floyd Rudmin is a member of the Psychology Department, University of Tromsø, Tromsø, Norway.”] Conspiracy theories arise when dramatic events happen, and the orthodox explanations try to diminish the events and gloss them over. In other words, conspiracy theories begin when someone notices that the explanations do not fit the facts. Take the case of explaining the past two decades of US “free-trade” schemes among countries in the Americas: FTA, NAFTA, and soon FTAA. These schemes began with two nations, then three, and soon four and more. The first was the 1989 Canada-US Free Trade Agreement (FTA) which set the … Continue reading CONSPIRACY THEORY AS NAIVE DECONSTRUCTIVE HISTORY (an excerpt)-by Floyd Rudmin

All Watched Over By Euphonious Voice-Overs on the BBC

Adam Curtis presented a three-part series on the BBC, recently, “All Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace” (title from a Brautigan poem)… and only a day after the second installment, I received evangelical emails, about the series, from several brainy friends. I have already watched two films, by Curtis, that I consider interesting-but-loosely-argued… and a bit too “mainstream” (supportive of The Standard Worldview, with minor twists). I only managed to find part 2, online, at first, and sat through all 59 minutes and found it interesting. Curtis’ general thesis has to do with, I think, the  modernist mistake of … Continue reading All Watched Over By Euphonious Voice-Overs on the BBC

AMOK TIME: FUCKING THE NEW

  The dirty little secret of the Pop-Porn-Fashion-Fantasy-Role-Playing Industry is that the best sex you will ever have is with your wife (I write this from the perspective of being a husband: translate gender and/or legal arrangement according to your POV). Whereas the all-but-explicit goal of Advertizing (Capitalism’s Nanny/Lover/Ninja/Chef) is to make you want what you don’t have precisely because you don’t have it (the not-having is the spur and the hook… the endlessly-renewable mercantile resource of grievous consumer need), the Happy Human is the human who is quite fucking pleased with what she/he already has (after a general period … Continue reading AMOK TIME: FUCKING THE NEW

THE BEST WAY TO DESTROY THE OPPOSITION IS TO HIRE IT

  1. The extent to which “educated” Americans are parroting anti-Qaddafi propaganda is an infernally-glowing product-testimonial to how powerful our Yankee brainwashing is: exactly which magnitude of bloodthirsty global tyrant rains bombs on so many sovereign nations for so long, and what kind of “electorate” can’t work out the greater evils, here? Qaddafi evil/ Drones Good? To quote Prof. Michel Chossudovsky quoting Rep. Denis Kucinich (http://www.globalresearch.ca/index.php?context=va&aid=24351) Military operations of this size and magnitude are never improvised. The war on Libya as well as the armed insurrection were planned months prior to the Arab protest movement. In the words of  Rep. … Continue reading THE BEST WAY TO DESTROY THE OPPOSITION IS TO HIRE IT

In the Name of Reason: Be a “Nutjob”

  The only sane, logical, clear-eyed and non-duped reactions to the Tucson Narrative I have thus far read emanate exclusively from “wacko”  “nutjob” “paranoid” “conspiracy theorist” websites. Certainly not a jot  of useful, un-duped, laser-eyed analysis is coming from the HackAcademic  Left, despite the fact that this latest event will, without a doubt,  open the gulag door for the next plague of draconian measures. Let’s not forget  that it was the dubious fizzle of an underwear bomb which heralded  full-body scanning (and junk-jiggling) at the airport. Soon to be coming  to your banks, cinemas, kindergartens and grocery stores. Intellectual  Snobbery … Continue reading In the Name of Reason: Be a “Nutjob”

Everything We Think We Know Is Not Just Wrong

We often think of norm-challenging concepts or theories as “ridiculous” or “irrational” not because we are in possession of the facts sufficient to refute them but simply because we have been told to. Too often, an “education” is the process, by sheer repetition and social conditioning, by which science, logic and common sense are distorted for the sake of convenience. We don’t need to ask (just yet) “whose convenience?”; we need to ask how much of what we’ve been raised to believe is utter fucking bullshit. If I’ve been raised to believe that the sweet water in the well behind … Continue reading Everything We Think We Know Is Not Just Wrong

SPEECH (in the manner of Harold Pinter)

   [I have corrected a BHO speech, regarding a fishy event in Tucson, Arizona, in 2011, for accuracy and to reflect more pressing situations…] As many of you are aware, earlier today a number of people were attacked by an American drone in Afghanistan, including several who were meeting to fetch unclean water from a rusted barrel.  We are still assembling all the facts, but we know that at least one human being who represented absolutely no threat to her professional killers was one of the victims.  She is currently at a hospital in the area, and she is battling … Continue reading SPEECH (in the manner of Harold Pinter)