cynical emails


A Friend wrote, today:

What? Not “buried at sea”?
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi killed in US raid, Trump confirms
To which I responded:
A) Isn’t this excerpt,  from the article,  phrased in exactly the way one would phrase it in a satire of the same story: “Test results gave certain immediate and totally positive identification, it was him” ?
B) BHO’s Team must be laughing their slick asses off: 1) What kind of Brand Recognition does this “dead turriss” have? 2) How much of a poll-points-bump will Trump get with this? 3) Isn’t he  (pages impatiently through manual)  supposed to *start* his own war (against, um, i dunno, Nigerian zealots raping blind blonde teen French nurse-nuns or something) to get his numbers up,  for a few months,  and distract from the impeachment show? (Can’t they just re-invade Grenada?)
C) I’m sure it’s a coincidence that this aptly-named “graphic” from the Guardian article… which is SUPPOSED to be a map of the region… looks like a dismembered torso:
graphic prop
E) Is that “Situation Room,” pictured in the article, situated in Eternity? What color is that wall, “Infinity Beige”?  Did Trump get a “smart select” haircut in this edit? What was the real (ie original) backdrop of this photo, a bowling alley?
F) “The Isis leader died “running into a dead-end tunnel, whimpering and crying and screaming all the way,” he said.”
One day, I predict, we will have the technology to record such dramatic
moments in high resolution video (though, of course, nothing beats a literary text for the picture it paints in the reader’s mind).
G) The fellow playing the Dead Turriss in this article: doesn’t he, I mean doesn’t he look exactly like a schlubby, ethnic, blue collar,  henpecked-husband type who’d co-star in a Sitcom called PANZ IN THE FAMILY… or something? If I owned a TV I’d keep an eye open for future appearances…
H) Did you ever get the feeling that our parents and grandparents got better (less embarrassing) propaganda than we do and, if so,  do you ever wonder why?





Behold the body language, eye-blink-rate and speech-tics of a super-phony motherfucker delivering a well-rehearsed monologue from the supposed perspective of a “whistle-blower” (“public enemy number one”) who has “seen behind the curtain” yet gets to talk nonstop for almost three hours on the most influential podcast of the era… only to hammer home his one stale point and only credential (Government is spying on us! REALLY?) and confirm that DE EBIL TURRISS are really out there and if only the (otherwise legitimate) Alphabet Agencies could have gotten their egos in check WE COULD HAVE STOPPED 9/11! Not a SINGLE damning tidbit about ANY body this guy secretly answers to.  And, of course, the gullible Millennials (the target demographic) eat this corny pantomime up. This glib guy with his rehearsed facial expressions talks like a sociopathic-day-trading-Metrosexual discussing “Woke Gender Politics” with a really hot Lesbian and patiently putting in the hours until he can slip the Rohypnol in her chamomile tea…
Question: which part of which agency handling Snowden has some kind of arrangement with Putin to play along with this preposterous act? What is Putin getting in exchange, intelligence on Ukraine…? Real Estate deals…? Or is he being blackmailed by Jeff Epstein…? Or does Putin’s involvement in the skit provide more evidence for the deeply philosophical proposition that all those in power have more in common with each other than they do with the Serfs they control… who are the actual “enemy” in the eyes of the powerful?
Anyway: watch this clip. We’re older than 35 and don’t buy it but that doesn’t really matter. It’s the Millennial Incel Army this show is staged to enchant. All we Wise Old Fuckers can do about it is hand-wave from the shadows as the tanks roll by…*
*Ever wonder why Online Video Content-Providing is, essentially (despite the near-infinite possibilities the ‘Net should offer),  a monopoly? Now you know. Rebuttal is futile.
** It’s almost as though the two Media Events are coordinated.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR [letters are vetted for cogency and style]

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