Monday Feb 25, 2019 20:51

Daughter (12) is in the bathroom that Daughter and I share (Wife has the fairy kingdom bathroom down the hall; Daughter and I have the highway gas station rest room bathroom with a tiny dying Xmas tree in the window over the tub), which is next door to my office. Daughter calls through wall, while sitting on the toilet, through hiccups, “Oh no! I have the hiccups!”

I very quietly rise from my office chair and tip toe to my door and ease it open.

“Daddy? Did you hear me…?”

I shove the bathroom door open and Daughter screams. I ease the bathroom door shut again.

Hiccups cured.

“Amazing!” calls Daughter through the door.




1EX I dated…

….in 1990. Lyrical. I was 31! She was 19. Fourteen years later: tea.




….record producers. These guys had some big hits and one of them is a millionaire. No, they’re not Gay.  Cultural differences.


3GERMANY’S  (then) Most Profitable Record Label…

…the guy up front was the label head; one of the most powerful guys in German music. Owner of several Ferraris and (at one time) a big chunk of Prince’s publishing catalogue. I used to drive this guy crazy with my impertinence… maybe the lighting/ resolution aren’t good enough to tell how much I am irritating him in this clip. I never kissed his ass and everyone. kissed. his. ass. When the camera pans the room, it sweeps across two hit producers, a minion and one guy who is currently the head of European operations for a very big label… and they’re all quaking in their boots like schoolboys in the principal’s office. They couldn’t believe I wasn’t afraid of this guy, who once yelled down a hallway at me that I was “Crazy”…  but he couldn’t fire me because he wasn’t my boss: he needed me for lyrics: I was good at that crap.  I must admit I enjoy being irritating sometimes. I didn’t need his money: freedom to be irritating is sweet and the foundation of honesty.



4 Ha ha

….The Twins. Tiny nuts. One of them was dangerous. I met them one day after leaving the premises of the above-mentioned label. I was standing at one end of the underground train-wagon and they were at the other. They somehow eventually crept in my direction, pretending to be staring at the overhead metro-maps, “lost”. It turns out they’d been at the same record label earlier that day. Small town Berlin.




… who was literally homeless when I met him; he was being kicked out of his flat (the rent for which having been paid for, formerly,  by his former bandmates, if I recall correctly). Didn’t have a job; all he could do was play tablas and tell wild tales and cook. A (rich) German friend who was part of the scene offered him a chance to run a little vegan snack shop… I remember standing in the vacant future site of the place with G and this German (rich) friend and another pal on a Thursday night, no power or lights in the space. The place looked grim (one three-legged chair, wires and pipes and broken tiles everywhere) and we could see our breaths in the dark as they planned what would go where: I thought they were pipe-dreaming. Now, 15 years later,  there are two of these restaurants and they’re still quite trendy and G must be fairly well off. Fairytales etc. Moral of the story: always try to make sure you know at least one non-psychopathic rich person.



…before he was even seriously on soc media; back then he was a semi-ex musician who’d charted with a new age-y album in the 1980s. Visited me in Berlin; it seems  a musician I was then writing songs for dreamingly-misinterpreted W’s position/ importance in the music biz and threw a party for him stocked with bon vivants and whooping women who were under the impression that W was a famous record producer. So: there I was chatting with someone in this singer’s kitchen and happened to glance into the darkened living room where W was sitting on an easy chair with a woman perched on each arm of the chair. The one on W’s right was licking his neck. W enjoyed his visit. Now he headlines seminars around the world but I knew him when he was having his neck licked (which is far from being the wildest thing that’s ever happened to him).



…and my accursed ethics.

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR [letters are vetted for cogency and style]

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s