THIS WEEK’S LETTER EXCHANGE WITH ET

letters

 

From: ET
Sent: 20 December 2018 4:03 PM
To: Steven Augustine
Subject: Sweet Jay-sus

https://www.theguardian.com/music/2018/dec/20/death-drugs-and-destruction-the-troubled-year-of-soundcloud-rap

I blame William “No ideas but in things” Carlos Williams for this latest chapter in keeping it real.

 

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From: Steven Augustine
Sent: 20 December 2018 16:52
To: ET
Subject: Re: Sweet Jay-sus

American culture! A thrilling experiment in the dangerous game of “How much worse can things get before they get worse?”

“Trippie Redd, a rapper embroiled in a feud with 6ix9ine, has twice been arrested this year, first after getting in a fight with rapper FDM Grady…”

A sentence familiar to any avid fan of hyperbolic Dystopian pulp Sci Fi of the 1960s! The only problem being that (as far as we know) none of these characters are androids.

“When Tay-K was placed under house arrest, his reaction was not merely to cut off his ankle monitor and flee, but to announce he was doing it on Twitter. While on the run, he shot the video for his breakthrough hit The Race, a track that commented on events as they were happening…”

I hear the police have got a good tax lawyer and are claiming their royalties on the video. What we need now is for the police to get better outfits and cooler, more menacing names…

(he quipped as he set the Self-Destruct timer on his island fortress and aimed his Escape Rocket app at asteroid belt)

PS When I first read the line “his reaction was not merely to cut off his… ” I flinched, instinctively, anticipating the mention of a body-part of the perp’s … or a girlfriend’s head

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From: ET
To: ‘Steven Augustine’ <the_augustine_authority@yahoo.com> 
Sent: Thursday, December 20, 2018 6:01 PM
Subject: RE: Sweet Jay-sus

It’s only a matter of time before we see the police with handcuff piercings.

 

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From: Steven Augustine [mailto:the_augustine_authority@yahoo.com] 
Sent: 20 December 2018 18:31
To: ET
Subject: Re: Sweet Jay-sus

…in their exposed cocks

 

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From: ET
Sent: 20 December 2018 6:51 PM
To: Steven Augustine
Subject: Re: Sweet Jay-sus

(thinks)  are the South American red ant soldiers placed on sharpened pine logs tipped with curare and dug into the ground at a 50 degree angle and hiding behind 100m of landmines ( each landmine 10cm apart ) enough?

 

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From: Steven Augustine
Sent: 21 December 2018 19:05 
To: ET
Subject: Re: Sweet Jay-sus

With poetic appropriateness, ET, I write this to the soundtrack of the fall of Saigon… today is the first day it is legal to buy firecrackers (what an innocent word; yet “explosives” would be too comical, and I am trying for seriousness here), in preparation for New Year’s pyrotechnics…  and two or three idiots, in as many cardinal directions, on this otherwise bourgeois block, are detonating the day’s purchases. It’s been going on for about thirty minutes and I would kick my office window open and shout “YOU’RE ALMOST TWO WEEKS EARLY YOU BATSHIT MONGOLIAN TITS” but I’d rather not draw fire while my Gatling gun is in the repair shop.

Where was I? Ah! Yes, I’ve developed a theory. Regarding all the freaky-looking flesh-eating rappers and all  that…

My Theory is that TFIC (the fuckers in charge)  are running a deep game here. By pushing all that is Fucked Up In the Current Condition of Popular Culture to terrifying limits, they may in fact be setting the stage for a populist groundswell of panicked regression to Puritanism that will make the 1950s look like Caligula’s bathroom in comparison. Duh Masses will willingly and humbly dress themselves up in Pilgrim fashions and manner of speech, eschewing all wildness and individuality and hedonism. There will probably be a book that is a fusion of the blandest motel version of The New Testament and Chairman Mao’s little red book, but, of course, its teaching/ homilies/ apocrypha will be sternly Capitalist. Only the business-owning tier of the non-aristocratic part of the population will be allowed children (one kid per household; reproduction via artificial insemination only, thanks) … and an occasional 300gm holiday ration of fresh fruits and venison with their insect protein/algae-sticks feasts… and they will live in tiny identical houses set in model villages connected by narrow-gauge electric choo choo trains (the underclass will live piously in the industrial quadrant,  in massive, modular flat blocks,  but there will be fewer of the underclass every year; just enough, eventually, to replenish the sports teams/ shoe-shine stations/ janitorial squads/ army-police without causing shortages)…

…while TFIC, the Royals, The Owners, in their cloud-piercing towers and on their floating islands of gourmet Argentine beef and round-robin prole-teen orgy-platters, will party for the next thousand years. A little Huxley, a little Orwell, a little Ballard… a little Gilliam.

(puffs pipe contemplatively)

That’s my theory. The whole thing is a long-range scheme, you see.

(puffs some more)

 

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From: ET
Sent: 21 December 2018 7:52 PM
To: Steven Augustine
Subject: Re: Sweet Jay-sus

 

My theory ( as such ) is that the Tory party here want there to be two separate classes – the rich who are encouraged to bleed the public sector dry whilst complaining about the concept of a public sector  and the rest who are basically shelf-stackers  and whose rents, grocery bills are too high to complain about the low pay, the long hours and the lack of public safety nets should a wage payment get delayed.

When we worked in Rio de Janeiro ( kerr-lunk! ) 20 years ago the separation between rich and poor was so glaring you wondered how the well-off could live in a society where they become birds in a gilded cage. Evidently it’s easy as long as you don’t mind being held over a barrel by security firms preying on your insecurities by offering the latest fail-safe secure window lock or minefield.

We certainly seem to be entering an historical phase of artistic conservatism. I was talking to a potential booker a few weeks back who thought our work was too scary. FF’sbloodyS

***************

 

From: Steven Augustine
Sent: 21 December 2018 20:38 PM
To: ET
Subject: Re: Sweet Jay-sus

Little does my Daughter realise that even as I urge her to finish her homework, brush her teeth thoroughly and show up to school on time every morning…

.

 

 

.

 

ADDENDUM

 

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