21 UNFORGIVABLE ONE-LINERS

 

 

1. Let’s keep wrapping our heads around the spectacle of McCarthyite Lefties until it feels right!
2. Let’s empower Women by saying that a Woman can be any Man who feels that they are a Woman; can we do the same fun thing with Race?
3. How can young girls being mercilessly bombarded on all media fronts, 24/7/365, with the diametrically-opposed messages to both A) snack for social fun and status and B) get skinny to be sexy (for social fun and status) have actual eating disorders…  what are their underlying issues we can struggle to understand?
4. Let’s keep encouraging kids to love themselves exactly as they are while also encouraging them to surgically and/or chemically alter their bodies to match their naturally unstable self-images!
5. Stop gun violence unless the government needs guns to use violence on a massive scale to achieve certain objectives!
6. If celebrities are laughing and witty and informally charming on-camera, all is well with the world and I realize, for the Nth time, that critics and naysayers of Empire are just losers and oddballs we can ignore with shudders of revulsion!
7. The Refugees are a serious problem in this country, even if I very rarely see any!
8. If a man gives another man useful information the latter did not previously possess, but does so in an offensively patronizing manner, it is definitely  ‘mansplaining’ and not a matter of having ‘poor social skills,’ especially if the beneficiary of the information is not a man but a woman, unless the speaker and listener are both women, in which case, actually,  it’s the social skills thing because many women with leadership qualities are demonized for not playing ‘nice’!
9. I am finding it difficult to find official published studies on the crippling widespread problem of money addiction!
10. This would be a Post-Racial Paradise if Darkies would learn to act right!
11. Jews run the world and Darkies are their muscle, which is why pictures of Jews and Darkies are on all the money!
12. “Half of LGBTQ people experience depression” but everybody else feels great!
13. Demonize half and Idealize the other half and together we can win!
14.  Someone told me that the overwhelming majority of Climate Change Activists and their most vociferous ideological supporters are still travelling copiously by jet and internal-combustion automobile but I know that can’t be true because it would be hypocritically absurd!
15. Pregnancy is internally-positioned rape via the Trojan Horse of the phallic fetus!
16. American Democracy is the most fair because it’s the most convenient because the candidates are chosen, for everyone, well in advance and even more safeguards are being put in place to correct election results should they go wrong in the future!
17. Why would trusted news sources be nothing but blatant propaganda serving the interests of the powerful people owning them… unless you cynically assume the owners expect their investments to work for, rather than against, them?
18. Your favorite TV program must be absolutely brilliant because it’s been designed to please the maximum number of millions of people who are right about everything else!
19. Not any of the dirty tricks, smear campaigns, covert assassinations and otherwise Machiavellian coups we have been educated to expect in nearly every other country in the world could possibly happen in our country, or the countries of our trusted allies, because are you kidding?
20. Frank discussions about America’s well-meaning but imperfect foreign policy can touch on many, many failures and controversies except hurtful questions like “but,  seriously, what are we doing with such a massive military presence in so many far-away, oil-rich countries?” because it’s complicated and support our troops!
21. Since several years before Hillary announced her candidacy in c. 2014, the educated classes (via eg The NYer, the NYT, Salon, The Daily Show, Atlantic Monthly, The Guardian and Vanity Fair, et al) have been saturation-bombed with the most horrendous (yet comically-hamfisted) Misandry I have ever lived through, because Hillary’s only viable political rivals were all men, and any and all negative impressions attached to “Cis Males” would be bound to help Hillary’s election chances, although she was such an atrocious candidate that that majority (though not totality: some people who read the NYer can actually see through propaganda) of “Blue Staters” conned into hating male candidates on sight still couldn’t help her defeat the profoundly ludicrous Donald Trump… even ridiculous (and weird) Liberal Red-Scare tactics, and hair-raisingly biased NYer articles putting Ted Hughes on trial, again, etc… are being deployed to remind the credulous college types that all women are so much better (in nearly every way except on the Neanderthal-O-Meter) than all men and we should somehow struggle against facts and reason to remember to think of the deeply corrupt Hillary as a Saint who could have saved us despite being (along with Bill) such a toxic politician that even the thoroughly-exploited MeToo campaign couldn’t manage to make it safe for Hillary to come out of hiding yet… SAY SOME LOSER-CRITIC PUPPET-AGENTS OF PUTIN!